I’m Done Cajoling Attorneys to Get Happy

If I could click my heels and wave my magic wand over every attorney who confides in me about how miserable 😭 they are, I would, happily. “Ta-da! Now you’ll achieve career satisfaction and live happily ever after!” 👑

But it doesn’t work that way. 

I have spent most of my adult life doing my best to support attorneys. I’ve seen and heard it all. 

And, I’ve been through it all. I’ve been fired, I’ve been sued (that was a long five years; google “Tracy Herman” AND “Colorado Supreme Court” to read that I prevailed), and I’m thriving.

Because my passion is helping attorneys leverage tough transitions and achieve satisfaction in their careers, I react to their tale of woe with:

✅ “You can do it!”

✅ “Life is too short to settle!”

✅ “I’ll help you!”

✅ “You’ve got this!”

By the end of our conversation, we’re overflowing with enthusiasm, ideas, and plans for our next steps. Rah, rah, rah! 📣

What happens next? 

You guessed it. I’m ghosted. 👻

When I follow up, I do everything in my power to keep top of mind their vision for their future and all the potential they exuded when we spoke. 

I continue to be excited, so I keep trying and trying and ultimately view my inability to keep them engaged and a personal failure.

Today I realized they never were engaged; they were reacting to my enthusiasm about all the possibilities for their brighter future.

Tapping into personal potential requires personal action. I can do that for just one person – me.

So I have made peace with the fact that once an unhappy attorney has settled into their rut of treading water and living their tale of woe, my offers of assistance – through cajoling, urging, and tough love – will most likely fall on deaf ears. The brick wall will win. I’ll be ghosted. 👻

I’ve lifted a huge weight from my shoulders by knowing I’m done endlessly cajoling someone into loving and respecting themselves (and those around them) enough to stop the insanity. Instead, once or twice I’ll offer to help them grab the flag in their parade and manage their career to get on the path to their definition of success. However, once I’m confident that they believe it’s their lot in life to be miserable, I’m moving on.

Constant bellyaching expends a lot of time and effort. It’s also a decision.

I’m excited at the prospect of doubling down on one of my passions and key strengths: working one-on-one with ambitious and analytical attorneys who are seeking career satisfaction. Those who have taken ownership of their careers (and personal and professional happiness) will be able to rely on me even more. Whether it’s for short-term, tactical decision-making support, my in-depth Attorney Career Transition Coaching Program, or something in-between, I’ll be even more available with my insights, systems, accountability, and support. 

For more than two decades, I believed I owed it to every unhappy attorney who called me to do everything I could, for as long as it took, to help them see that they could be happy.  They could be well paid to do the work they enjoy for the people they want to support.  At least a thousand times, I’ve said, “managing your household and client expectations and your career – yes, it all takes work – but it’s all sooo worth it.”

Who the heck am I to decide what’s “sooo worth it” to someone else? 

I now realize that’s not my role. And it never was. 

Fully owning this clarity feels faaaaaantastic.

Thanks for “listening.” 😇